My two cents worth......

who's lucki-er?

2009-11-13T09:08:00.002+08:00

I’m surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I’m surrounded by impostors everywhere I turn
I’m surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn
I’m the only one who’s noticed
I can’t be the only one who’s learned

I don’t want to be anything other than what I’ve been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and have peace of mind
I’m tired of looking ’round rooms wonder what I gotta do
Or who I’m supposed to be
I don’t want to be anything other than me

~ GAVIN DE GRAW (I Don’t Wanna Be, 2004)

alangkah beruntung nya org yg tahu ape yg dia mahukan dalam hidup ni..

alangkah beruntungnya org yg dapat lakukan ape yg dia mahukan dalam hidup ini..

alangkah beruntungnya org yg mahir dlm kerja yg dilakukannya, walaupun itu bukan yg dia mahukan dalam hidup ini..

...antara ketiga-tiganya,mana yg lebih untung sebenarnye? yg pasti, aku bukan salah satu darinye..

..ahhh scary life
..Love, productive Friday and sweet weekend ahead.

Your Insecurities Make You Emotionally Selfish

2009-11-05T10:50:00.005+08:00

I was thinking about blogging a personal, sensitive matter that had been hanging in midair for a quite some time. As I was surfing for some inspirations, I came across a quote that struck a chord.

Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority over the other."
- Honore De balzac

For the record, I don't put the blame on anybody else. It's just that when I decided to swallow my pride I was fooled by the idea that things had passed, we've learned our mistakes and things will be like they used to. Sadly, I was wrong. I've resigned to the fact that some of us will always afraid to admit that they've gone too far with their behaviours. Thus, the overflowing gratitude, respect and adoration that I have, had turned into a sad disappointment. As I'm trying to live my life, and move forward, how do I deal with friends from the past? Truth is, there is nothing in common anymore. They know I will accept them no matter what, I will be around if they need me. But friendship is a 2-way thing, isn't it? I want something back too. I want friends who inspire, not depress me. I want our conversations to be about Allah, or always in constant reminders of Him.

Sometimes immaturity does come with age and gender.

I hope someday you’ll be wise enough to read between the lines rather than take everything said at face value. Grow up!!

*sigh* Too many words that left unspoken drifted everyone apart.

I miss my old-day @ CRMD. I miss my old-friends.

May Allah help my friends who are in trouble, and may Allah bless my friends who loves me for His sake.

my only 2 cents worth @ Mekah Al Mukarramah

2009-10-26T11:00:00.010+08:00

...The weekend rolls in, a respite for some from the grind of the week, a start of a new round for others. Stresses it brings but then still absolutely lovely week :P

As Friday melts into Saturday it’s time to think about the fact that I have to attend wedding reception of my relatives and friends & kenduri kesyukuran for my relatives and neigbours yang bakal pergi menunaikan Rukun Islam yg ke5.
All in all It was tiring yet FUN :)

Talking bout Musim Haji, one of my bonda dear neighbours left for haj with her husband last Saturday. Beloved bonda, ayahanda and I went to their house which is just sepelaung away from ours to ucap selamat. After pak Imam melaungkan azan, they rushed into their MPV without looking back and headed for the call of the All Mighty. This reminded me of that time when I too was preparing to leave for my Umrah back, last year. This is not about going to Mekah, more about why when dah azan, kena cepat cepat ride the vehicle and don't look back. Some say if we look back, the journey will not be a safe one or one may not reach Tanah Haram at all. Wallahualam..

Performing the Hajj is truly like going to battle. You leave your family behind, you take along only the essentials and you make do with whatever we have. But the battle is not only physical, it was also emotional, psychological and spiritual.
I believe that Allah gives you lessons to learn everyday, irregardless of whether you are on Umrah (Small Hajj), Hajj or not, but somehow during that period, perhaps due to the situation, lessons seems to be more intense and you are somewhat forced to learn it. I imagine that the itinerary for pilgrims from Malaysia will be quite similar during the Umrah. You will be travelling between Madinah, Makkah, Arafah, Muzdalifah and Mina, and your schedule will be quite packed.

Here are some tips I would like to share with regards to Menunaikan Rukun Haji & Umrah:

1. Drink lots and lots of water.
I know you'll be afraid that it will make you want to go to the toilet often and you're afraid if the toilet facilities will be bad, but drink away! Your body will lose water in other ways (sweating, and from reciting the Qur'an and dzikr), so dont worry about overloading your bladder. If you do have to go to the toilet, pray to Allah so that it will be easy.

2. Carry Pocket/Purse sized Tissues, WetWipes, Vaseline, Spray Bottle, your favourite cough drops and Snickers, all in a small sling bag. These are essential and will make your journey more comfortable. The tissues & wetwipes are really good for quick clean-ups and freshening up. The Vaseline can be used to maintain moisture on any part of the body (especially your lips! Lots of reciting/supplicating will make your lips dry). If you cant find a travel size vaseline, a non-perfumed chapstick will do. I carry a spray bottle of clean water (fill it up with zam-zam if you like) so that I can make wudhu' anytime, anywhere. Suck on a cough drop the moment your throat start to feel scratchy. Eat a snicker to stave off the hunger pangs. I carry this sling bag everywhere I go. Also in this sling bag were my handphone, some money, my insurance card, a copy of our Umrah/hajj registration, a pair of socks, and a small book of supplications.

3. Layer your clothes.
The weather can be quite erratic, so if you're not sure if it's going to be cold, make sure you bring layers of clothes instead of thick items. Bring one thick jacket/cardigan/shawl if you have to, and underneath them use layers. Bring socks, wear 2 pairs if it gets cold. (Note: Pullover abayas/jubahs are recommended as opposed to button-front ones.)

5. Tawaf/Saei with gripped socks.
You know them socks with rubber dots on the soles? Just like the ones for babies but these are for adults? They are really good for tawaf and saei. Masjidil Haram's marble floors can be quite cold and normal socks are slippery so these socks give you some grip and the extra friction makes it less tiring.

6. If you can, have your MP3 player filled with Qur'an translation.
I really should've bought an iPod lah. I only had a few selected surahs on my phone. I found it really helpful, especially when it's not conducive to read (i.e. in the bus, at night, noisy surroundings, you've lost your wudhu'). The translation helps you understand the meaning of the surahs. I got my surahs with English Translation from www.dhikrullah.com.

7. Write your supplications (dua) in a small notebook (buku tigalima).
I wrote all my supplications in a small flip-over notebook so that I don't forget, but I found flipping over a little cumbersome. I think a regular notebook (that flips left/right) would be much much easier to hold and flip as you move along.

8. Take your medicines.
You don't know what's gonna happen, so no matter how confident you are about your health or biological cycles, take your medicine! You do not want to fall sick during these 5 days.

9. Do lots of dzikr and supplications.
Take this time to really remember the Almighty and all that He has given you and reflect upon yourself. 'Istiqamah' bak kata my mummy G.. :)
Rasa macam rugilah pulak bila dah susah-susah pegi buat Umrah/haji, tapi membazir masa buat benda lain... :P (Especially for me lah, since I feel like this is my last chance to buat Umrah).

I'm sure there are more tips.. feel free to share.
Hopefully I can go again, and I really pray hard for it and make full use of the tips here, Ameen :)

Meantime, do enjoy my pictorial journey to Mekah last year'08....

my bag and Maggie Kari pedas adalah benda penting utk Oversea Trip :)

after 3days kt sana, 1 of the notty pak arab dok alwiz kacau me eventhough my clothes were VERY islamically, but for them still doesnt meet their full criteria thus as a result people will staring at you, and thus membuatkan my Mutawwif risau, so he decided to bought me this and forced me to pakai and that would be my 1st introduction to it. Man I dont know how Iranian women wear that thing, It fell from me all the time, it made me so angry! no matter how did it, it fell down huhuhu...

Mekah from my eyes...

me and the rest...with all d most adorable and helpful mate i've ever had..miss them!

After finishing with the tawaf and drinking some Zam-Zam water we went to Mount Safa and Marwa. Muslims who perform the Hajj or Umrah must walk/run between the two hills, starting from Mount Safa and ending with Mount Marwa. As we were walking, my eyes were always in search, to get a glimpse of the Kaaba. Those glances of the Kaaba were like nourishment to the soul, filling you with true, sincere, divine love, a love that can not be taken away from you.

Time to say bubye, you have no idea how much I miss it. Its an experience like no other experience.

ME

2009-10-23T16:14:00.001+08:00

What my 'name' means

You Are Enchanting and Artful
You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts.
You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it.
You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator!

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous.
You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things.
Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

I'm not sure about whether "many people wonder what (my) secret to life is"
or whether I "have the whole world under (my) spell, and (I) can influence almost everyone (I) know" or whether I "dont resist (my) urges to crush the weak" (? what the eff??? I dont think I ever did that. Have I?)or even the "suave, sexy, smart, and strong" bit. AND potential to break many H.E.A.R.Ts ...omG!! did I??!!

Hmmm...this test is eeerily quite accurate. I wonder if these people read my blog or something :)

my happiest moment ...

Five FluFF

2009-10-22T15:52:00.006+08:00

5 things in my handbag

Handphone
>Book or magazine (to read when i stop at traffic light)
>a bag of make-up stuff (i know my face still look pale!!)
>telekung (or sometimes just a pair of the sleeve thingy and a pair of socks)
>Wallet

5 things in my wallet (i'll describe what's in the side pocket)

>CIMB card
>Maybankcard
>My myKad
>Some cash
>Shopping and Hutang List (hehehe)

5 favorite things in my bedroom (my bedroom in umah-sewa)

>the only working bedside lamp in the house
>whatever book I'm currently reading in bed
>my soft duvet
>Kipas hanginnn
>mom (i wishhh!!)

5 things I would like to do

>Go on a road trip to Langkawi
>Go on a road trip to Terengganu-Kelantan
>Go on a trip to Brisbane (kak Cik) -Canberra (Along & Kak Long) - Perth (Kak Long Pakcu)
>Go on a road trip around europe
>Go on a road trip road trip road trip.

5 things I am doing now

>doing this post
>reading a forwarded email titled "ENVIRONMENTAL FACTS - All About Plastics" by Environment & Safety Health Department
>Thinking about what to do and where to go malam and weekend ni (no plan!)
>Wondering when will I dapat my soulmate and dok atas pelamin :P
>Listening to the Keith Urban-Raining on sunday

what we-toyota'ian did on week-last of Syawal'09

2009-10-21T14:56:00.005+08:00

It was a hilarious yet fun work in here-toyota! Full of excitement, frustration, politics, jealousy, anger, tantrum and it is pretty a balance-life we've had here (think so :P). Last week we had our own-staff-gathering.
It turned out pretty good, considering it was gone in a flash.
Hmm...I didn’t plan on writing much on this coz the pictures tells a thousand words.

Yeahhh Toyota 'n' Me, though we may not have been able to be the
perfect epitome of the employee-employer relationship.
You've still held that special place in my heart..
cewah cewahhh...So I guess you could say it had been quite a productive life as far as life are concerned.

Now I have to go back and start my work and make-up my paper.
bubye!

everything changes....blog OOOoo blog

2009-10-20T15:00:00.007+08:00

Gosh this blog is kinda slowly dying so I must salvage it. I reads adi's, aishah's, tabok's, sis elisa's, sis ninuk's, che det's and few many blogs and now its really inspire me to update more frequent on my own blog. But where to start?? How?? when??
Now I'm actually sitting in my cubicle trying to get work done. But...I don't have anything good to say so I haven't said anything at all.
Most days are blur. I go to office, leave to come home feeling all tensed up & frustrated and then do it all over again the next day. There isn't much to blog about kan. When I feel numb, I tend to fall again into the labyrinth of memory. Past, present, future, fantasy? What is real? I'm so tired of it. I can't even put words to it. This is stupid and pointless.

Talking in circles. I can feel the tension and grief rising....

TAPIKAN....these past couple days have been cool. I'm up at bonda's cottage for the weekend with the cousins and their kids. Its can consider a little reunion with basically our extended family plus my moms cousins whole family. That was fun, of course, I was like the most busy-iest person in the kitchen doing my cooking-potong-ing-buat air oyenn-basuh pinggan and all the stuff..but again, it was FUN :)
Till 12am in the morning and everyone still sitting around telling stories, laughing, joking, drinking and all that rock and roll!
Weird, now i feel more energy for blogging and I'd really like to story more about my journey but I should save that for a proper entry, devoted entirely to it. For now, I shall just say, I'm alive! And shall return to the blogging scene, once I get my lazy ass off the couch watching greys anatomy :D

ps: i miss my best friends :(

I'm Back and tadaaa I am 29yo now!!

2009-02-11T19:03:00.004+08:00

I haven’t been writing for almost 3years and suprisingly my baby blog still active! still alive. Thanks to blogspot :P
Well, for the first time in the last 2 years I had a without blog vacation. Although I visited it almost every week I just didn’t want to write anything, simply blank and blurrr. Anyway, now I’m back and I have to start blogging seriously again.

An update, guess what:yesterday 10th February 2009 was my 29th birthday:)Other than my brother calling to "acknowledge" my birthday, my cousin texting me, and my bonda, mummy G wishing me a happy one, and trying to cheer me up even without mak and ibu, no one else called. Oh yea mummy G bought me an Apple crumble-Secret Recipe, yummyyy :P thanks mummy you really made my day. To top it off, after I came home (actually I took half day leave) and from picking up my lovely housemate aka my-lil-notty-sista, I received a call from my atok...thanks atok for the wishes and not to forget the sweetiest mango delight :P
I would say that I am not boo hoo-ing, but I am....and yeahh thats the most lonely birthday ever in my century!

"Happy Birthday to MEEEEE"

Why is it so difficult for me to update now?

2005-02-07T09:51:00.000+08:00

1. Heavy workload in the office that drains my energy by the time I go home, only allowing me to eat, clean up, watch the idiot box and sleep.

2. No idea.

3. No words.

4. No life.

Shall I go into a formal hiatus?
I think I am.

SO long, Farewell, I need to say goodbye...

so hate me...

2004-12-28T13:20:00.000+08:00

since i'm the dumbest..so i just stay silent.

2004-11-05T08:21:00.000+08:00

I guess it's true what they say: a relationship will be harder when it involves the family. I know now what that means. Hahahhaha, maybe I thought it wasn't supposed to end this way. Although we haven't ended, but I have lost my faith in it. I want to be strong, to help him go through this, but I know he doesn't need my support. I guess what he decides, when he's made up his mind, there's nothing I can do. Maybe he's met another girl who's better than me.(that'd be easy) maybe she interests him more that I do. I wouldn't know. I just hope that he'd come to his senses, because his eyes, when I saw them the other day, his eyes were sincere. His eyes were so in love with me. And his eyes never lie. I know he knows it. To everyone that reads my blog, I thank you for your support. Don't blame him. I don't. Just blame the situation. The timing. He's a great guy. A wonderful boyfriend. The most understanding. The most patient. No matter what I do, he still loves me. No matter how clumsy I get, he still loves me. And no matter how annoying I get, he still loves me. We never fight. We never misunderstood each other. So I guess this is the hardest point in our relationship. I hope we can go through it together. I hope he wants to work it out. But I do not hope much. So, happy Ramadhan and Hari Raya everyone. Although my Ramadhan+Raya is ending sadly, and I wish I could turn back time, but I give in. Selamat Hari Raya and MAaf Zahir Batin!

without you

2004-11-01T08:31:00.001+08:00

No I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way
The story goes
You always smile but in your eyes
Your sorrow shows
Yes it shows
No I can't forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrow
When I had you there
But then I let you go
And now it's only fair
That I should let you know
What you should know

I can't live
If living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't give
I can't give anymore

Well I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way
The story goes
You always smile but in your eyes
Your sorrow show
Yes it shows
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't give
I can't give anymore

*** its over now***

Entahlah kite pun tak tau nak ungkapkan/uraikan macam mana lagi ...tapi apa yg pasti setiap bait2 dalam lagu "makcik mariah" kat atas tu mmg kene kat batang hidung kite waktu nie...

Mmg terlalu perit jika ditinggalkan apatah lagi jika kita ditinggalkan tanpa sebarang sebab yg boleh diterima akal!!

Kite tau walauapapun hidup mesti diteruskan!! kite tau tu semua...tapi mudahkah bagi kite untuk buang kenangan selama 4 tahun bersama ngan "dia" begitu sahaja?? sekelip mata?? Bukannya satu keje yg mudah sebenarnya!! Segala2nya masih segar diingatan nie!!

Ahhhh lelaki, terlalu mudah mengungkapkan kata sayang DAN amat mudah juga bagi mereka untuk mengungkapkan kata BENCI, BORING, TAK SAYANG pendek kata semuanyalah yg tak kena bila kite ni dah tak diperlukan lagi!! Sangat mudah bagi mereka....ibarat memetik buah jer bagi mereka agaknya!! Tapi kite yg MASIH SAYANG, MASIH SETIA dan MASIH IKHLAS ( bodohkan aku nie??!! ) nie still mengharapkan agar keajaiban akan berlaku nanti!!! Yesss sampai kesaat ini kite masih mengharapkan KEAJAIBAN pasti akan berlaku nanti!!!

Pesanan buat "dia": kite dah buat yg terbaik untuk awak, dan kite juga dah buat segala2nya untuk awak!Ikhlas untuk awak dari hati kite!! Jika awak fikir MIMPI ***** boleh membuatkan awak bahagia sehingga keakhirnya, kite terima dengan hati yg terbuka! Becos kite percaya satu hari nanti pasti AWAk akan rasa macam mana kite RASA PADA WAKtu ini!! BUKAN berdendam, tapi itu adalah JANJI ALLAH diatas org yang menganiayai kita!! terima kasih diatas segala2nya...

** start from now onword insyaallah kite akan share with you all yang sudi about perjalanan hidup kite selama 4 tahun dengan "dia"!! Yesss i will

2004-10-26T10:13:00.000+08:00

After 23 years of living, I finally realized that we don't always get what we want or desire. Not in our life, in our career, our relationships, in our love. We dreamt of having a life where everything is just so perfect that nothing can bring you down except death. But I now realized that we can always dream, we can always hope, but we can't depend on it. We can't have high hopes, we can't be too optimistic. Maybe we dream of a great career, we might not get it. We dream of a great love story which will end happily ever after, we might not get it. We dream of wonderful happiness, but we might get devastating sadness.

So, does it mean we shouldn't dream? no dreaming, hoping, will keep us going through life trying.

I used to dream of being a successful person...and I still dream of it. I am successful, and I want to be more successful, so I hope, I dream, I keep on trying. I used to dream of being romanced into a wonderful, sweet love story. But I fell in love with a guy who might just make me happy even without romancing :)I dream of being thin...and still trying that is eheheheh...

So, people can tell me to not have high hopes. Don't be so optimistic. But if these are the things that will keep me up and trying harder, then so be it. I will keep hoping. I will keep dreaming. I will be optimistic. And so be it...

s`thing to share

2004-10-26T08:50:00.000+08:00

A kindergarten teacher has decided to let her class play a game. The teacher told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag containing a few potatoes. Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates, so the number of potatoes that a child will put in his/her plastic bag will depend on the number of people he/she hates.

So when the day came, every child brought some potatoes with the name of the people he/she hated. Some had 2 potatoes; some 3 while some up to 5 potatoes. The teacher then told the children to carry with them the potatoes in the plastic bag wherever they go (even to the toilet) for 1 Week.

Days after days passed by, and the children started to complain due to the unpleasant smell let out
by the rotten potatoes. Besides, those having 5 potatoes also had to carry heavier bags. After 1
week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended.

The teacher asked: "How did you all feel while carrying the potatoes with you for 1 week? "The children let out their frustrations and started complaining of the trouble they had to go through having to carry the heavy and smelly potatoes wherever they go. Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game.

The teacher said: "This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred for somebody inside your heart. The stench of hatred will contaminate your heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go. If you cannot tolerate the smell of rotten potatoes for just 1 week, can you imagine what is it like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for your lifetime???"

Moral of the story: Throw away any hatred for anyone from your heart so that you will not carry sins for a lifetime. Forgiving others is the best attitude to take! Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love & to be loved is the greatest happiness. Fate determines who comes into our lives. The heart determines who stays.......

2004-10-21T14:25:00.000+08:00

Be The Man

I would fight not to ever fall too deep
Never sure that love would grow
Now at night as I lay me down to sleep
I could never let you go

And lying here with you, I still can't believe it's true
Never thought that I would ever find a love
That lasts forever

Be the man that's mine
Find the love that never goes away
Be the heart I know will be
The one that beats for me, be the man

Used to be scared if I would ever get this close
I'm not afraid to touch you now

Long before I knew, I'd be making love to you
I dreamed that maybe I would one day
Lose myself in someone, someday

Be the man that's mine
I always try to find the love that never goes away
Be the heart I know will be
The one that beats for me, be the man

Take me where I have never been
I will follow you, you'll never be alone
I will run, run to you
I never thought that I would ever find a love
That lasts forever

Be the man that's mine
I always try to find the love that never goes away
Tell me we will always be together
Make us stay in love this way forever
Be the heart I know will be
The one that beats for me
Wherever you may be
Always be with me, be the man

today .....

2004-10-20T15:22:00.000+08:00

Today is another day. The next day is always better than before. My life is getting more interesting. Sometimes good :-) but sometimes bad :-(

Whenever i'm alone, the quietness always makes me think about the past, the present and the future. Some people do not want to think, to hope, about the future. I guess i'm different.

Everyone wants me to be happy. Everyone wants me to choose my own path, to lead my own life, to be in charge. What I had before in my life that I have less now; the feeling of security, the thought of a happy ending, the faith that I put in people. but I still wanna hope. I will still love. I might not be as cheerful, or as joyful as I was, but I will be again. Maybe not now. But sooner or later. Insyaallah

I do not want us to tie the knot. Not yet. I do not want us to keep making fake promises. I just want to be happy. Like we always were. Why? because we love each other. Our love is not the same as others. Our love is different. Although we're a couple, lovers, but we are also best of friends, the closest pals to each other. We have faith in each other. We hope, we long, for each other. That's where the feeling of security comes. We work to keep together. No matter whatever challenges come
in our way, we are dedicated to each other so that at the end, we will end up together. that is our goal or maybe just only my GOAL - ending up together. Isn't that what a relationship is for...?

busy?

2004-10-01T15:51:00.000+08:00

I have not been in a writing mood up until just now. I have been busy doing some stuff!! yuckkks..

Well, tomorrow is the beginning of a long, relaxing (hopeful) weekend. I will make sure that I get the relaxation that I need. what are my plans? well, there's no holiday plans, or trip anywhere, just a normal lepak at home plan. I'll start my day tomorrow with the "acara kemas mengemas and basuh membasuh" !!! normal routine for the weekend!! banyakkkkkkkk saaaagggaaaatttt kain kene basuh!!!

Alright, these pass few days,i`m quiet busy to organise for our department family outing @ Tanjung Tuan Port Dickson next week 09 of September 2004! Ditugaskan sebagai Organizer mmg ler banyak kene plan dan kene settlekan...mana nak collect duit, nak arrangekan transport, nak arrangekan makan minum and beach games, nak kene shopping barang2 (i like this part!!!hehehe)!! But alhamdulillah i`m not alone actually...Kak Hasifah, Kak Khuzaimah, AM Low, Moh, Whse Dept and all my colleague mmg ringan tangan membantu untuk menjayakan program nie.,,thanx guys...

About my mum, alhamdulillah dia bertambah sihat. My aunty kat kampung cakap sekarang nie dah boleh jalan2 dah. Dah boleh pergi pasar semula:-) good news huh!! and MY application for da house (SPNB) still hanging there :-(

Ok lah guys have to stop here coz got s`thing to settle before i`m going back!! have a splendid holiday y'all! I love you so much!

(Note: forwarded message attached.)
Doa Untuk Kedua Orang Tua sementara mereka masih hidup........(dont take
them for granted)

Ya Allah,
Rendahkanlah suaraku bagi mereka
Perindahlah ucapanku di depan mereka
Lunakkanlah watakku terhadap mereka dan
Lembutkan hatiku untuk mereka

Ya Allah,
Berilah mereka balasan yang sebaik-baiknya, atas didikan mereka padaku
dan Pahala yang besar atas kesayangan yang mereka limpahkan padaku, peliharalah mereka sebagaimana mereka memeliharaku.

Ya Allah,
Apa saja gangguan yang telah mereka rasakan atau kesusahan yang mereka
deritakan kerana aku, atau hilangnya sesuatu hak mereka kerana
perbuatanku,
jadikanlah itu semua penyebab rontotnya dosa-dosa mereka dan
bertambahnya
pahala kebaikan mereka dengan perkenan-Mu ya Allah, hanya Engkaulah yang berhak membalas kejahatan dengan kebaikan berlipat ganda.

Ya Allah,
Bila magfirah-Mu telah mencapai mereka sebelumku, Izinkanlah mereka
memberi syafa'at untukku.
Tetapi jika sebaliknya, maka izinkanlah aku memberi syafa'at untuk
mereka, sehingga kami semua berkumpul bersama dengan santunan-Mu di
tempat kediaman yang dinaungi kemulian-Mu,ampunan-Mu serta rahmat-Mu

Sesungguhnya Engkaulah yang memiliki Kurnia Maha Agung, serta anugerah
yang tak berakhir dan
Engkaulah yang Maha Pengasih diantara semua pengasih.

Amin Ya Rabbul Alamin..

2004-09-28T15:53:00.000+08:00

SSYYYHHHH i`m busy now!!! hahahahahaha

people vs virus**virus vs people??!!

2004-09-24T10:15:00.000+08:00

These few days were havoc. My company's server was terrorized by the stupid worm virus thingy, and that caused us quite a waste of time. We couldn't do anything much, and the fact that we couldn't connect to the net really made the problems worse. But we have solved the issue, and now the computer are back to normal. But the daily virus updates and computer scanning must be done to avoid future mishaps. So, I was to make sure that I download the daily updates for the rest of the people here and keep everything under control. So viruses, beware! super-wan is in da house!

Anyway, talk about people, there are different types of people in this world. There are people who like to criticize, there are hypocrites, there are humble people, there are weird people, complicated people, and many more. I see myself as complicated but boleh bertolak ansur. And weird but simple...hehhehehhe

But there are people who seemed nice at first, humble, and pleasant, when they are happy. But when things just don't go their way, they handle it badly. Rational people handle bad situation with calm and peacefulness. But people who aren't rational, take problems in a hard way and express they emotions in an un healthy way. For example, they use bad words, or they tell people off. These people, to me, are hypocrites.

Cara seseorang menangani emosi dan masalah mereka mencerminkan keperibadian mereka. Adakah patut sekiranya seseorang itu marah, untuk mereka menyemburkan kata2 yg kotor. Melemparkan tuduhan kepada seseorang. I pity those people.

Anyways, I again want to stress here, I have many other things to do in life rather than worry about what people think. Sometimes people just need to be selfish to satisfy themselves.

**pardon my babbling.... ;)

PESANAN BUAT LELAKI

2004-09-15T15:52:00.000+08:00

Jangankan lelaki biasa, Nabi pun terasa sunyi tanpa wanita,

Tanpa mereka, fikiran dan perasaan lelaki akan resah,
Masih mencari walau ada segalanya,

Apa yang tiada dalam syurga?
Namun Adam tetap rindukan Hawa.

Dijadikan wanita dari tulang rusuk yang bengkok itu,
untuk diluruskan oleh lelaki,
Tetapi seandainya lelaki itu sendiri tidak lurus....
Mana mungkin kayu yang bengkok
menghasilkan bayang yang lurus,

Luruskanlah wanita dengan jalan yang ditunjukkan oleh Allah SWT,
Kerana mereka diciptakan sebegitu rupa oleh Allah,

Didiklah mereka dengan panduan Nya,
Janganlah cuba menjinakkan mereka dengan harta,
Kerana nantinya mereka akan liat,

Janganlah hiburkan mereka dengan kecantikan,
Kerana nantinya mereka derita,
Kenalkanlah mereka kepada Allah, Zat yang kekal,
Di situlah punca kekuatan dunia!!!

Akalnya senipis rambutnya,
Tebalkan ia dengan ilmu,
Hatinya serapuh kaca,
Kuatkanlah ia dengan iman,
Perasaannya selembut sutera,
Hiasilah ia dengan akhlak,

Suburkanlah ia kerana daripada situlah nantinya,
mereka akan lihat nilaian dan keadilan,
Tuhan,
Bisikkanlah ke telinga mereka bahawa Kelembutan bukan satu kelemahan,
Ia bukan diskriminasi Tuhan,
Sebaliknya disitulah kasih dan sayang Tuhan,

Jinakkanlah diri kepada Allah,
Nescaya akan jinaklah segala-galanya
di bawah pimpinanmu lelaki,

Jangan mengharapkan isterimu semulia Fatimah Az Zahra,
Andai dirimu tidak sehebat
Saidina Ali Karamallahuwajhah

Terimalah wanita dengan seadanya
kerana setiap ciptaan Allah tidak ada yang sia-sia
semuanya penuh makna

Resource: COPY PASTE

and it`s friday!!

2004-09-10T10:24:00.000+08:00

Rasanya dah 2 minggu tak update. It's alright, since I write whenever the mood comes. Well, it has been a good week, a great weekend as well....

Well,it's friday again! i'm so happy to be able to say that...heheheheh. I've always loved the day when it is just before the weekend. Although I am more lazy when it comes to friday (actually, i'm always lazy hehehe) but the fact that i'll be able to sleep through the morning on the next day really cheers me up! I luuuuuurrrvvveeee to sleep heheheh...

Everyone's having plans tonight or tomorrow night - whether going out with their significant other, or just lepak-ing with friends, or maybe going to the club. Where else for me, I am plan-less. Haven't had any money to enter any clubs...but maybe i'll just watch a cd at home given by abang boyoi... buy popcorn or DIY and just enjoy the night. The road will be too jammed anyways, and there will be too many people everywhere. But I wanna see the fully lit KL, and the midnight fireworks.....hmmmm....how ah?

And these few days i've been thinking about money and my career. How can I make more money, how can I go up a step in my career life. I feel like my work is so stagnant, going on the same pace day by day, and I must do something about it. But what? my family and abang boyoi supports anything that I decide. That's the problem. sometimes (now and then) I do need someone to tell me what to do....

after all, it's friday!!! catch ya later

** ohhh well my kaki got "terseliuh" since yesterday!! auuuccchhhh... susahnyer nak jalan!!So abang boyoi for this weekend kalau nak kuar, no shopping complex please!!!

*** 4 days to countdown abang boyoi`s birthday!!! makin tua rupanya abang boyoi ku ini!!! but hopefully ke"boyoi'an nyer tak bertambahh!!!hehhehe...

I`M STILL HERE ...

2004-09-02T09:29:00.000+08:00

Well, i'm sorry I haven't been updating for a few days. The mood wasn't there. I guess with many things happening these few days, I just got braindead. Last week has been quite tiring,I was out the whole weekend, doing this and that, going here and there and back here again.... with not getting enough sleep and all. I guess i'm not the type who can go on without getting at least 8 hours of sleep at night.....

About my life, it's just the same o, same o thing. i've been thinking a lot lately, about life, about my future, about friends and family. I guess these past few months, many things have happened in my life that really gave myself a shock. The family matter, the new people I met, the understanding of men's behaviour. arrggghhh, sometimes it's just so weird. what? I know, my life sometimes can be weird, so weird, and I tend to meet weird people. But i guess that's what makes my life interesting enough for me. My job -- well, it is driving me crazy, but God put me here for a reason.... so i'll just take it as it comes.

By the way, i'm very tired -- I dunno why. so many things to do, but yet so little time. and so many things to do, but yet so little money...*sigh*

A NICE DAY

2004-08-26T00:23:00.000+08:00

I had a great night last night. after work, i went to the South City Plaza Bowling Centre with Yan (my lovely hse mate), kak milah (soooo quiet!), Rizal (talkative!) and Zam and that was energizing....and of course didn't win laa *BUT* i did very much enjoyed myself. i should thanks Yan for inviting us. Abang boyoi, you should have been there! it was fun, and funny! ;)

The last time i played bowling was month ago, and so, yesterday's experience was precious. I had a few games of bowling with them. man! it was fun. and PAINFUL! my hands are all swollen today you can even see the bruises. hahahahah padan muka. nak main sangat hahahha... it's amazing when i discovered that i can play (sikit2). it was awesome, and am planning on going again next week, if there's a chance laaa...boleh kan abang boyoi??? :-)

So, then after the bowling, we off to Hafiz`s Seafood belakang Minlon for dinner. and guess what, since we all dah macam ular sawa, but satay and kerang bakar still there so we do counting all the foods and devide by 5!!!! hahahhahaha ( Zam`s idea!!! crazyyyyy huh...)...but i didn't have a lot. yupp, didn't wanna spoil my diet, i guess ;)

By the way, i have a tag board at the bottom of the page! don't forget to write stuff there. take care y'all! have a nice day :) alrighty then -- back to work!

***it's a boring day. anybody want to set me up on a blind date? i think i need one! heheheheh

happiness only comes from your own self. you create your own happiness...

Nobody knows.....

2004-08-25T03:56:00.000+08:00

and so, monday ended, and now it's tuesday. sometimes time just moves so fast and sometimes it can be so slow. ...

oh no! it's happening again....that empty feeling at the pit of my stomache. i guess it happens every month, during that time of the month...shucks! i hate having this feeling, the feeling where it seems like there is something missing in my life. the feeling of incompleteness. the loneliness attack! go awayyyyyyyy!!!! arrrgggghhhhhhh...

i'm so bored. i have a routined life -- wake up, office, *missing someone*, go home, sleep, sometimes watch tv, or CD, or go out with the same people over and over and over again. why am i complaining? i should be thankful to have these wonderful, fantastic people around me. it's not that i'm complaining pun, but i feel that there is something missing in my life and i just don't quite know what the missing thing is. can't quite grasp it. *sigh*

me and my friend were discussing just now about this routined life of ours. God! i got to go -- need to clear up my head. it's very messy now -- i wish i can just vacuum all the dust and wipe all my confused thoughts away.

**By the way, remember my acting boss?? well, She was warded at Assunta PJ yesterday because she got " batu karang dalam hati??"...i hope she'll get better soon.....

NOBODY KNOWS
by Tony Rich Project

I pretended I'm glad you went away
These four walls are closin' more every day
and I'm dying inside
and nobody knows it but me
like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
and I'm cryin' inside
and nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say
the things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a tumblin' down
I can say it so clearly
but you're nowhere around

chorus
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
and I just keep thinkin' 'bout the love that we had
and I'm missin' you
and nobody knows it but me

I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
and I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside and nobody knows it but me
I lie awake it's a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night as if I thought
you'd hear me
Yeah my heart is callin' you
and nobody knows it but me

How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
but like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say just how
I feel
A million years from now ya know
I'll be lovin' you still

Tomorrow mornin' I'm hittin' the
dusty road
gonna find you where ever, ever you
might go
I'm gonna unload my heart and hope
you come back to me
said when the nights are lonely...

The Gift of LISTENING....

2004-08-20T00:13:00.000+08:00

**But you must REALLY listen, No interrupting, No daydreaming, No planning your response, Just listening**

Lately in my office and even sembang with my frens, everybody talk about the halalness of the Mc Donald`s and KFC`s. Maybe sebab baru habis MIHAS tu kot!! by the way I'm "against" anyone who insinuate that we should boycott mc donalds...bcos they being christians..and less sensitive towards muslims..and now with all the hatred that comes abt. Do we need to instill hatred into our young minds and heart? and continue the legacy? have we not seen enough hatred already in this world?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think McDonald's is a francise. That means the McD's here in Malaysia are owned by Malaysians who have paid a very handsome sum to McD Inc. and have to pay a percentage of their gross profits to the franchisor. So before McD the American company is hurt by the boycott, we would have hurt our fellow Malaysians first....and it included cases like the Bali bombings which killed innocent locals working in Bali not the Americans who own mc donalds sitting in their cushy chair in US. Another thing is the act of boycotting was something practised by the Jews and the kufar...even in the day of the Prophet...he still traded with the Jews in spite of everything....

And again....why attack only Mc Donalds? If you are in to boycotting what about Windows & all the PC technology?

But then again, if you wish to boycott....it is a personal preferance....nothing wrong with it...just that don’t look down on those who do not boycott.....OK enuff!!

By the way untill now I still and still didnt make any decision whether to accpet da Penang offer tu or not?? still in awkward feeling....I just hope, I got a right target....Insyaallah......

** Sorry if I terlalu "emotional" bout the Mc Donald`s issue tu!! Tak tau nak cakap pada siapa kecuali MY BLOG.COM :-)

POem of the day

2004-08-19T15:45:00.000+08:00

My Advice To Myself
by Ahmed

If you think you are beaten,
You are;
If you think you dare not,
You don't;
If you'd like to win,
But you think you can't,
It's almost certain you won't.

If you think you'll lose,
You're lost;
For out in the world we find
Success begins with a fellow's will,
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you're outclassed,
You are;
You've got to think high,
To rise.
You've got to be sure of yourself
Before you 'll ever win the prize.

Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But sooner or later,
The man who wins
Is the person who thinks he can!

hmmmmmmmm...

2004-08-19T02:30:00.000+08:00

Gosh.....

first of all, just got a good news from Penang last Monday!! Interview yg I attend last 2 weeks was accpeted!! meaning I diterima tuk keje kat sana start by next month!!! huahahahhahah i`m really, really happy!!! but ....boleh ke I start keje baru dengan situasi yg baru dan seorang diri disana??? tats the problem! abang boyoi encouraged me to accept de offer..I know he was the first person yg paling "HAPPY" dan "SAD" bila dapat tau I dapat offer nie...HAPPY coz finally I dapat jugak offer kat Comp yg lagi baik dan besar compair ngan IRIS nie dan interm of RM pun quiet better there!! SAD coz maybe he will be alone here without me ....(cehhh perasan gak aku nie kan????)dan takder dah org nak gaduh dengan dia lepas ni!! Tapi walau apa pun I didnt make any decision yet!! Until now!! serious!!

What else??Ohhh ... maybe by this week jugak abang boyoi dah nak fly to INDON. Kalau org2 kat INDON tu sibuk nak datang Malaysia, dia pulak sibuk nak pegi INDON! However I`m so proud dengan abang boyoi sebab struggle and lots of sacrifice yg dah dia buat untuk capai cita2 dia yg satu nie : to become an AEROSPACE ENGINEER!! wish you GOOD LUCK abang boyoi!!!

more later....

The Gift of A Favour....

2004-08-14T05:52:00.000+08:00

** Every Day, Go Out of Your Way To Do Something Kind...**

Getting bored this week...dunno why?! I got nothing done today! Or the day before. I have been unproductive all-week long!

Anyway, a bit frust with myself!! failed tuk upload pics into my blog! got a few website and instruction but end up i`m still here without any changes :-(

Emmm today is Friday....freaky friday yeahh....Tomorrow is Saturday!! Cepatnya masa berlalu! Rasanya baru jer semalam aku enjoy saturday with abang boyoi @ One Utama Damansara...abang boyoi ku shopping spree hari tu....almaklumlah baru first time dapat shopping camtu since came back from UK! This week?? tak tahu lagi nak pegi mana, maybe duduk rumah jer kot! Menembamkan diri & ZZZZzzzzzzzz...i like it....

Untuk sesapa yg tak tahu lagi start from 14th-18th August 2004 kalau tak silap kat Mines ada Exhibition Halal Malaysia...so guys check it out!!

Have to stop,rambling has become incomprehensible,even to myself.

Pssst: Sorry if i`m using the "bahasa rojak" here will make u crazy!!! Tats de only way I have to improve my English and BM too!!! *wink*

Finally....finally.....

2004-08-13T16:01:00.000+08:00

Yeahhhh....finally managed to upload some pics here!!! yeaaahoooo...thanks to Sifu kecik ku *wink* and to photobucket.com!! Really help!!

Got some pics and hope u guys enjoy with it....here we go....

gambar nie masa I kat UK!! sweet memory

nie pulak masa Annual Dinner Comp I kat ShangRi-La KL

my colleague

The Gift of TENSION!!!

2004-08-12T06:52:00.000+08:00

well...well....welll.....!!!

Emmm dah berjam-jam i dok kat depan PC nie sampaikan naik ber"pinau" anak mata but still tak satisfied lagi with my blog....-syhhhh makan gaji butaaa-....I cant even do the headline thru my exploration...gosh......how "bad" I am huh?? but I promise to do my BLOG nicely and interesting....soon....insyaallah...

Ok lah got to go....nak sambung surfing and searching to make my blog cute-mute ......nak kalahkan abang boyoii nyer BLOG ...muaaahahhahahahhahahha.....

psstt: yeahoooo today my abang boyoi will drive me home!!!!

The Gift of a written blog.....

2004-08-11T19:05:00.000+08:00

Grrrr ....tension nyerrr aku....guest what???

I overwrite my previous post!!!! pandai kan aku nie??? aminn.....tu pun nasib baik ada "Blogger Sifu" kat opis aku nie....dia lah yg banyak membantu aku dalam mencapai cita2 aku yg satu nie...thanks to you Sifu Azri....jasamu dikenang...