After 23 years of living, I finally realized that we don't always get what we want or desire. Not in our life, in our career, our relationships, in our love. We dreamt of having a life where everything is just so perfect that nothing can bring you down except death. But I now realized that we can always dream, we can always hope, but we can't depend on it. We can't have high hopes, we can't be too optimistic. Maybe we dream of a great career, we might not get it. We dream of a great love story which will end happily ever after, we might not get it. We dream of wonderful happiness, but we might get devastating sadness.

So, does it mean we shouldn't dream? no dreaming, hoping, will keep us going through life trying.

I used to dream of being a successful person...and I still dream of it. I am successful, and I want to be more successful, so I hope, I dream, I keep on trying. I used to dream of being romanced into a wonderful, sweet love story. But I fell in love with a guy who might just make me happy even without romancing :)I dream of being thin...and still trying that is eheheheh...

So, people can tell me to not have high hopes. Don't be so optimistic. But if these are the things that will keep me up and trying harder, then so be it. I will keep hoping. I will keep dreaming. I will be optimistic. And so be it...

s`thing to share

A kindergarten teacher has decided to let her class play a game. The teacher told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag containing a few potatoes. Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates, so the number of potatoes that a child will put in his/her plastic bag will depend on the number of people he/she hates.

So when the day came, every child brought some potatoes with the name of the people he/she hated. Some had 2 potatoes; some 3 while some up to 5 potatoes. The teacher then told the children to carry with them the potatoes in the plastic bag wherever they go (even to the toilet) for 1 Week.

Days after days passed by, and the children started to complain due to the unpleasant smell let out
by the rotten potatoes. Besides, those having 5 potatoes also had to carry heavier bags. After 1
week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended.

The teacher asked: "How did you all feel while carrying the potatoes with you for 1 week? "The children let out their frustrations and started complaining of the trouble they had to go through having to carry the heavy and smelly potatoes wherever they go. Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game.

The teacher said: "This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred for somebody inside your heart. The stench of hatred will contaminate your heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go. If you cannot tolerate the smell of rotten potatoes for just 1 week, can you imagine what is it like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for your lifetime???"

Moral of the story: Throw away any hatred for anyone from your heart so that you will not carry sins for a lifetime. Forgiving others is the best attitude to take! Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love & to be loved is the greatest happiness. Fate determines who comes into our lives. The heart determines who stays.......

Be The Man

I would fight not to ever fall too deep
Never sure that love would grow
Now at night as I lay me down to sleep
I could never let you go

And lying here with you, I still can't believe it's true
Never thought that I would ever find a love
That lasts forever

Be the man that's mine
Find the love that never goes away
Be the heart I know will be
The one that beats for me, be the man

Used to be scared if I would ever get this close
I'm not afraid to touch you now

Long before I knew, I'd be making love to you
I dreamed that maybe I would one day
Lose myself in someone, someday

Be the man that's mine
I always try to find the love that never goes away
Be the heart I know will be
The one that beats for me, be the man

Take me where I have never been
I will follow you, you'll never be alone
I will run, run to you
I never thought that I would ever find a love
That lasts forever

Be the man that's mine
I always try to find the love that never goes away
Tell me we will always be together
Make us stay in love this way forever
Be the heart I know will be
The one that beats for me
Wherever you may be
Always be with me, be the man

today .....

Today is another day. The next day is always better than before. My life is getting more interesting. Sometimes good :-) but sometimes bad :-(

Whenever i'm alone, the quietness always makes me think about the past, the present and the future. Some people do not want to think, to hope, about the future. I guess i'm different.

Everyone wants me to be happy. Everyone wants me to choose my own path, to lead my own life, to be in charge. What I had before in my life that I have less now; the feeling of security, the thought of a happy ending, the faith that I put in people. but I still wanna hope. I will still love. I might not be as cheerful, or as joyful as I was, but I will be again. Maybe not now. But sooner or later. Insyaallah

I do not want us to tie the knot. Not yet. I do not want us to keep making fake promises. I just want to be happy. Like we always were. Why? because we love each other. Our love is not the same as others. Our love is different. Although we're a couple, lovers, but we are also best of friends, the closest pals to each other. We have faith in each other. We hope, we long, for each other. That's where the feeling of security comes. We work to keep together. No matter whatever challenges come
in our way, we are dedicated to each other so that at the end, we will end up together. that is our goal or maybe just only my GOAL - ending up together. Isn't that what a relationship is for...?

busy?

I have not been in a writing mood up until just now. I have been busy doing some stuff!! yuckkks..

Well, tomorrow is the beginning of a long, relaxing (hopeful) weekend. I will make sure that I get the relaxation that I need. what are my plans? well, there's no holiday plans, or trip anywhere, just a normal lepak at home plan. I'll start my day tomorrow with the "acara kemas mengemas and basuh membasuh" !!! normal routine for the weekend!! banyakkkkkkkk saaaagggaaaatttt kain kene basuh!!!

Alright, these pass few days,i`m quiet busy to organise for our department family outing @ Tanjung Tuan Port Dickson next week 09 of September 2004! Ditugaskan sebagai Organizer mmg ler banyak kene plan dan kene settlekan...mana nak collect duit, nak arrangekan transport, nak arrangekan makan minum and beach games, nak kene shopping barang2 (i like this part!!!hehehe)!! But alhamdulillah i`m not alone actually...Kak Hasifah, Kak Khuzaimah, AM Low, Moh, Whse Dept and all my colleague mmg ringan tangan membantu untuk menjayakan program nie.,,thanx guys...

About my mum, alhamdulillah dia bertambah sihat. My aunty kat kampung cakap sekarang nie dah boleh jalan2 dah. Dah boleh pergi pasar semula:-) good news huh!! and MY application for da house (SPNB) still hanging there :-(

Ok lah guys have to stop here coz got s`thing to settle before i`m going back!! have a splendid holiday y'all! I love you so much!

(Note: forwarded message attached.)
Doa Untuk Kedua Orang Tua sementara mereka masih hidup........(dont take
them for granted)

Ya Allah,
Rendahkanlah suaraku bagi mereka
Perindahlah ucapanku di depan mereka
Lunakkanlah watakku terhadap mereka dan
Lembutkan hatiku untuk mereka

Ya Allah,
Berilah mereka balasan yang sebaik-baiknya, atas didikan mereka padaku
dan Pahala yang besar atas kesayangan yang mereka limpahkan padaku, peliharalah mereka sebagaimana mereka memeliharaku.

Ya Allah,
Apa saja gangguan yang telah mereka rasakan atau kesusahan yang mereka
deritakan kerana aku, atau hilangnya sesuatu hak mereka kerana
perbuatanku,
jadikanlah itu semua penyebab rontotnya dosa-dosa mereka dan
bertambahnya
pahala kebaikan mereka dengan perkenan-Mu ya Allah, hanya Engkaulah yang berhak membalas kejahatan dengan kebaikan berlipat ganda.

Ya Allah,
Bila magfirah-Mu telah mencapai mereka sebelumku, Izinkanlah mereka
memberi syafa'at untukku.
Tetapi jika sebaliknya, maka izinkanlah aku memberi syafa'at untuk
mereka, sehingga kami semua berkumpul bersama dengan santunan-Mu di
tempat kediaman yang dinaungi kemulian-Mu,ampunan-Mu serta rahmat-Mu

Sesungguhnya Engkaulah yang memiliki Kurnia Maha Agung, serta anugerah
yang tak berakhir dan
Engkaulah yang Maha Pengasih diantara semua pengasih.

Amin Ya Rabbul Alamin..